PUT A FORK IN ME!

Really (there's my sanity word again) no "really"... I am so done. The only phrase I could think of or got stuck on was "put a fork in me cuz I'm done!" I thought about "I'm ready" but that SO does not do my intense overwhelming feeling of doneness at all justice!
So here I am at the beginning of 36 weeks and feeling every symptom known to pregnancy in addition to getting over a stomach bug (at least I lost 4.5 lbs with it!) and soooo ready to meet this child or shall I say in a nice way ...get him the hec out of me!
I thought last night was it for sure. Woke up with tremendous pressure in my thighs and abdomen in addition to the back labor (But I have had back labor for wks already), I had really bad cramps like menstrual cramps. Ahhh but no luck, kids still in me and I was just out one more night of sleep. I know I have been complaining of being ready since month 5 but I mean it this time. I get winded after walking five steps. AND Dude I can't even lean over a quarter of the way without feeling pain, dizzy-faint and creating an instant headache. I mean its the most clutsy time in my life so I am always dropping something and have to pick it up---ARGHH!
Not to mention still picking up after the old lab (dog) of ours-My first son! One of the reasons I haven't written in so long. We finally broke down and took him to the vet who happens to be his breeder and guess what ....freakin 14 1/2 yr old laborador got a reprieve! He is not in pain Doc said, "he's just old with arthritis". Grreat so I am picking up poop and pee just as I would if the kid was here-good practice huh?! No really I love Hud so I am earning my patience badge and prepping but I am overjoyed that Jr will get to meet the best dog in the world ever! I am actually honored to clean up after him since he has brought me and my husband and soo many of our friends and family joy all these years. Heehee can u tell I am more sappy over my dog then my kid! Well once the human kid gets here I am sure I will love him as much as I love my canine kids but hey they were first!
Another reason I have not written in a while...I had a freakin birthday and besides physically feeling eck, I became emotionally ECK! Yup 35 years old... sucks. Got out of really having to celebrate tho because one of my baby showers was that weekend so it was all about my big fat belly instead of my years :( ;) Got some great stuff but duplicates out the wazoo. I mean these stores really need to keep up with their registries. I had registered for two of a few items but to get four of that item? Come on... and here I am two weeks away from giving birth having to tote all this stuff back and forth to return/exchange and btw the specialty store happens to be like 40 minutes away!!!
Yeah you heard me ...he is coming early the dr said last week. YAY for me! And he is done too! Dr says he's already 6 lbs and will probably come out about 8 lbs and early at about 37 wks. Fortunately I have everything ready! All that nesting had me prepping the nursery with paint and stuff long before the official third trimester began heehee! Our hospital bags are even packed! Now, thanks to a great friend the crib and changing table are up, the baby clothes laundered (in Dreft of course) as well as baby's crib sheets and pack-n-play sheets cleaned and beds are made, tons of formula and diapers-thanks to some more great friends, bottles, pacifiers and nipples sanitized-yes I boiled them! Set up the video monitor system. Wow thats a whole other story dude really this voyeurism could become addicting television! I practiced with the dogs on nightvision!
What am I missing? I think thats it but let me know if you think of something. I am out of work at home now so I just may have time to write again...